Long ago, our ancestors were favored to have a magical guacamole tree. During the one special month of the year, the entire community focused on the harvest. The guacamole dripped from the trees, and men, women and children tried to collect as much of the treasure as possible before it hit the ground.
Unfortunately, due to an untimely meteorite, global warming and infighting due to a diminishing fan base, the guacamole tree was forever lost to us.
But all hope is not lost! My family has passed down this recipe throughout the years which simulates the amazing guacamole that once fell freely from the hillside trees.
So today, just in time for the Big Game, I will share with you the secret guacamole recipe.
Get out a large sharp knife and cut them through the center, to the pit. When separated, one side will still have the pit and the other will be just green goodness. Take your knife and “pop” the pit so the knife will cut into the pit a little bit … then you can pull out the pit on the knife and knock the pit into the trash by hitting the handle of the knife on the edge of the trash can.
With a spoon, I scoop the avocados into a large bowl. I then cut them up a little bit so they’re chunky, but now yet mashed.
Now, here is one of the secrets passed down for generations which I am willing to risk family banishment to share … it’s at this point that you add the salt. I prefer kosher salt, but when you mash the avocados with the salt, it makes such a difference.
Then I use a potato masher and work it all into a slightly-chunky texture, but still pretty creamy. I add freshly-squeezed lime juice, which gives it flavor and also stops the browning of the guacamole.
I add chopped-up cilantro (a pretty decent amount – just the leaves of about half-a-bunch), finely-chopped onion (I like to use red onion to give it a little more color) and two or three chopped tomatoes.
If you are a little adventurous, then chop up a couple of serrano chile peppers. Finely chopped if you want to get it all through the mix, or you can do slivers if you want to be able to pick them out. If you want them to be less spicy, then remove the seeds and veins from the inside of the chiles.
Mix it all together, and then WHAM! You have a guacamole just like my ancestors used to make, way back in our homeland of Scotland. And you don’t even have to wait for the annual guacamole harvest …